Funny Jokes and Story – Humors

A couple got married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want if I want, and at what time I want,” he said. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table […]

One night after a date, a guy takes his 19 year old girlfriend home. After kissing each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Babe, […]

A doctor just finishes his check-up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad news. Dr: Well, you only have about 3 months to live and there’s nothing else we can do. I’m sorry. Patient: […]

A husband and wife are awoken at 3 AM by a loud pounding on the door The husband looks out the bedroom window through the pouring rain, and sees a car he does not recognize parked on the street out front. He gets up to answer the door, where a […]

A guy walks into a bar looking to stir up some trouble. The bartender asks, “Hey there, what can I get you?” The guy looks around and sees another guy sitting at a table mulling over a still full drink and says, “I can get it myself.” Leaving the bartender […]

I asked my friend, “What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?” He said “You should share responsi- bilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.” I asked “Can you explain?” He said “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues […]

Barry returned from a doctor’s visit one day and told his wife, Carolyn that the doctor live. ………….. only had 24 hours to Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Barry went to […]

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. “Is this your husband?” he nervously asks. “No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all,” […]

A wife finds a note from her husband on the fridge one morning..My dear wife,. You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after […]

One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room 10, but […]

Two women friends met after many years. “Tell me”, said one, “What happened to your son?” “My son, the poor lad!” sighed the mother. “What an unfortunate marriage he had to a girl who won’t do a single work in the house. All she does is sleep and loaf and […]

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable […]

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. “Is this your husband?” he nervously asks. “No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all,” […]

A man gets shipwrecked on an island and his only two companions are a dog…and a pig. He manages to find plenty of food for the three of them, and they settle in for a long stay as the man tries to think of a way for the three of […]

A blonde has just inherited a Ranch but only had two horses. The problem was she couldn’t tell them apart. So she goes to her neighbor rancher and asks for help. He suggests cutting ones tail a bit shorter then the other. She does it but then a week later […]

A young investment banker decides to splurge on a Lamborghini Aventador. After paying close to $400,000 for his dream machine, he decides to take it out for a spin. He stops at a red light and an old man on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man […]

A Horse And a chicken are playing together in a meadow, when suddenly the ground gives way, and the horse falls into a deep pit. The horse calls out to the chicken, “Chicken, you have to help me get out of here!” So the chicken takes off for the farm. […]

A man is transporting a coffin when his car breaks down. He pulls over and after messing about with the engine trying to fix it, covering himself in oils and grime, he calls for a mechanic, they tell him they can come in just under an hour to asses the […]

An engineer was not getting a job, So he opened a clinic and wrote outside the clinic, getting treated for 200$ and if the treatment is not done, I will return 500 $. a woman man was passing by the clinic and saw it and said it was a good […]

The teacher said to the children sitting in the class: James, tell me, what will you be when you grow up? “James said: After doing an MBA, I will become a great pilot.” “I will build a house in the most expensive area of the city.” “Will even visit every […]

Grandpa tells his grandson, “all you kids do these days is play video games.” When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn’t pay for our drinks all night and […]

A wealthy man was ordered by his physician – funny jokes and humor A wealthy man was ordered by his physician to go away to the mountains for a rest. He went home, told the members of his family what the doctor had said. He said, “While I’m away, I […]