Month: July 2024

A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: “Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want.” The man says: “Ok, I will kiss you.” He kisses the […]

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem – the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand […]

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, […]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs […]

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, “Mommy, why am I named Clover?” “Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family.” Then, her other daughter walks up. “Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?” “Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are […]

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. “No!” yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.   “For the last time, no!” says […]

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on […]

A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The wife can’t orgasm because it’s too damn hot. They See A Se* Therapist, And He Recommends That They Have A Constant Supply Of Cool Air In The Bedroom, So The Man Asks His Best Friend To Waft A Towel […]

A husband and wife were having dinner They were at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was […]

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. So the couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful […]

A lawyer’s wife died. At her grave, everyone was appalled. The tombstone read, “HERE LIES PHYLLIS, WIFE OF ATTORNEY MURRAY WILLIAMS; SPECIALIZES IN DIVORCE AND MALPRACTICE”. Murray burst into tears. His brother said, “You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap publicity stunt like this.” Murray said, “You don’t understand. I gave […]

Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says … “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?” The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all […]

A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state’s strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss’ office. “I quit! That’s it, I’m not working here anymore!” “Why?” asks the boss. “What’s the problem?” […]

A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. “What’s the story?” she asked. “Just crap in the carburator, ” the mechanic replied. “How often do I have to do […]

A woman got married, but her husband was abusive. She got remarried and that husband ran out on her. She got married again and that husband failed in bed. Finally, she put an ad in the paper: “Looking for a man who won’t abuse me, won’t leave me, and won’t […]

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives […]

A guy and his wife went to an expensive golf course. He said to his wife, “Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don’t know if we can afford to break a window.” His wife tees off and breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house. […]

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was […]

A married couple on a tight budget were shopping in a supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and places it in their shopping cart… The wife complained, “Put that back, we only have enough funds for essential items – not luxuries such as beer costing $20.” A […]

A man with a very large penis walks into a doctor’s office Edit: it’s been pointed out to me, and I agree, that this joke is way too long. Sorry, I got a bit carried away. The punchline may not be worth the investment of time. After he’s all checked […]

A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.  She demanded to know why the charge was so high “I agree […]

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit […]

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get […]

A science teacher asked her students “Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be? one boy said, i would choose gold. Its worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.” Another boy said ” I would want platinum because its worth more than gold and […]

A young Irish girl goes to confession and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. The priest replies, “Go ahead, my child.” “Well”, she says, “Last night I made love to me boyfriend… FIVE TIMES! And it was GLORIOUS, Father. He made me tingle all over, and I swear […]

A couple, both in their 70s, went to a s** therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have s**?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you […]

A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant, having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that she can take a blonde joke as well as the next person, but it […]

A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. […]

A donkey was tied to a tree. A demon came and released it. The donkey entered the field of a farmer and began to eat everything. The farmer’s wife saw the donkey and was afraid that he would destroy the farm, took the rifle and killed him. The donkey’s owner […]